Both my parents were therapists growing up, my dad specializing in marriage and family and my mom with children.
Growing up as a middle child/oldest daughter of three, the home we grew up in was very open and loving, where we were encouraged to share our feelings and thoughts. My life forever changed when mom was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and tragically died a few weeks before my 13th birthday.
Without having the language/skills to cope or comprehend this trauma, I focused all my energy on trying to be as normal as I could be. Through time and talking with a therapist, I began to talk and sit with the pain that had always been there but never fully acknowledged. Eventually, I felt a call to pursue becoming a hospital chaplain, which has further strengthened my faith and spirituality, and then a mental health therapist, which took around 11 years earning me 4 higher education degrees, giving me every title except Dr!
Compassionate Inquiry™
In late 2022, I was introduced to the work of Gabor Mate and discovered Compassionate Inquiry™. CI, for short, begins with the foundation that all people have experienced trauma by being born into and existing in a world with hurting and imperfect people. Generational trauma is passed down in families and most people are unaware of it, or default to unconsciously saying “this is how my parents did it.”
However, it’s through understanding this foundation of your own personal trauma that all human behavior can be understood in the context of a trauma response. This can feel sort of overwhelming at first, but I see it as incredibly hopeful for change and tremendous personal healing. These breakthrough realizations have radically changed me, both as a human and as a therapist.
I am currently involved in a yearlong intensive training, working towards becoming a Compassionate Inquiry Informed Therapist, focusing on early childhood trauma and the effects that live in our bodies. Personally, I see my own CI trained therapist bi-weekly as this practice is very important for me to intentionally create time and space for my life processing, enabling me to sit with others in their own personal work.
For me and my personal CI journey, I can hold pain and loss, and my inner child that sometimes needs to be held and told that everything will be ok.
This newfound freedom and ability I experience to be my true authentic self, is something I desire for everyone. Sharing this with my clients is my purpose, seeing them find this for themselves is my passion and watching CI positively impact so many, I cannot imagine doing anything else.
In addition to my work in CI, I’m comfortable with clients who have a cancer diagnosis, and journeying with them in their different stages of their cancer journey. I also connect well with caretakers or loved ones who are caring for their loved one with the diagnosis. Losing my mother to cancer, I’m comfortable sitting with grief, loss and trauma of all kinds.
Through my own experiences of pain, loss, joy and gratitude as well as sitting with others who have experienced the same, I know that freedom from pain is possible, when as a client, you decide to invest the time and space in your life to make therapy a priority for yourself. When you want to ‘do something different’ because the old way is not working, you experience a fearlessness that leads to growth.
