How I was FINALLY able to recognize both my own triggers and my own physical responses to trauma

In late 2022, I was introduced to the work of Gabor Mate and discovered Compassionate Inquiry™. CI, for short, begins with the foundation that all people have experienced trauma by being born into and existing in a world with hurting and imperfect people. Generational trauma is passed down in families and most people are unaware of it, or default to unconsciously saying “this is how my parents did it.”

However, it’s through understanding this foundation of your own personal trauma that all human behavior can be understood in the context of a trauma response and the effects that live in our bodies. This can feel sort of overwhelming at first, but I see it as incredibly hopeful for change and tremendous personal healing. These breakthrough realizations have radically changed me, both as a human and as a therapist.

I just concluded an intensive year long training, becoming a Compassionate Inquiry Informed Therapist, and wanted to share some reflections.

• I now recognize my own triggers, which are responses to things that happen now, but are really from the past. (For example: a common trigger of mine is when I have a perception that I am not smart enough/good enough, I can now focus on the first time that I felt that, which for me was as a kid and sitting with that kid filled with self doubt, I’m able to recognize that was then not now. This allows me to self soothe and hold my inner child that just needed to hear, you are ok Anna, you are not alone.)
• I now recognize my body/physical response to stress and/or tension. When I feel that tension in my body, for me, its an icky feeling in the pit of my stomach/lump in my throat. When I feel this, I close my eyes, get curious and ask. what is this tension telling me? This allows me to give those body responses time and space to allow myself to feel them, so they don’t carry on/linger, allowing me to do something about them. My ‘doing something about it’ is to share it with someone I trust and/or talk to myself out loud.

When a Compassionate Inquiry™ informed therapist and a client connect, using the Compassionate Inquiry model, the client and therapist can reveal the client’s mental climate, some of their hidden assumptions, implicit memories and states of the body that tells the real story that words can’t express.

Through the use of this approach, a client is able to unearth the hidden forces that control their lives and how to free themselves from these forces. Dr Gabor Mate, who developed Compassionate Inquiry™, says:

“the purpose of the compassionate inquiry is to drill down to the core stories people tell themselves-to get them to see what stories they are telling themselves unconsciously; what those beliefs are, where they came from; and guide them to the possibility of letting go of those stories, or letting go of the hold those stories have on them…that’s what Compassionate Inquiry™ is.”

For me, CI is experiential. CI is about present moment awareness and present moment experience. I still have a long journey to go and the journey never ends. I am so grateful to my expansive CI community, the personal community that I’ve connected with, and all the rich experiences I have gained from people all around the world. You have all changed my life and I’m eternally grateful.

If you would like to journey together and/or explore your childhood trauma, I would love to walk with you.

For additional resources on CI, you can check out: https://compassionateinquiry.com/